Search articles by topic
2 days ago
Not many of us outside Hollywood have met the actual Harvey Weinstein, or those on a growing list of other alleged harassers - but most of us have met someone with a personality similar to what that individual is accused of.. Perhaps we've been a target, who escaped (or not)... or we thought it was a 'relationship', albeit an illusion. Or are we one of their valued ‘witnesses’, reeling off a list of good-works that this charming, decent man or woman has done, vital for the preservation and elevation of their reputation?
For the perpetrators around us, reputation is all-important. There’s huge variety, all down to their personal preference as to how they’ll come across. Is he the cuddly family guy, the cruel managing director, the intimidating gang-member?
Here are five warning signs that someone in your life might be a narcissistic predator:
1) Changing behaviour depending on the audience
Perception management is his greatest tool, vital to feed his supply in these dangerous, sometimes lethal games of power and control. In company, does he exaggerate or bend the truth to make himself look better? Do facts get fudged? He will do whatever it takes to further his own interest at others' expense. He loves getting one over on someone. If he elicits sympathy from you he’s setting you up for further down the line. If he says his ex spent all his money, you may become supremely conscious of paying your way or being extra generous while he spends nothing. Predator, one – you, zero.
2) A lack of empathy or conscience
He doesn’t mind or even gets a buzz from bad things happening to others. Nothing is ever his fault. Now we know, it’s easy to spot, right? Nope - these people hide in plain sight and can display differently to each person. One problem if we have a conscience is that we assume the same of others. Assume nothing and keep safe.
3) They are the perfect partner or boss - at first
Did he listen with ‘genuine’ concern, even say he’s a feminist? Was he invaluable, a shoulder to cry on or put up much-needed shelves? This sets you up to feel indebted, beholden. The perpetrator is reading you and deciding which ‘group’ you fit into. If you’re useful as an enabler to boost his image he may decide to always seem ‘perfect’. Alleged perpetrator Kevin Spacey, who played a fantastic psychopath in the film Seven, also helped numerous charities. Being seen doing ‘good works’ is reputationally essential. For the predator next-door, maybe he’ll help an elderly man across the road or appear great with children or animals. For someone with no compassion he’s an expert at manipulating yours.
4) You might justify this person's behaviour
Do you make excuses? “He’s stressed, had a long day, been hurt in the past.” Seriously, who hasn’t? Rewind. Just before you search for an excuse, an important thing happens. Your gut instinct spots trouble and tries to help you, but we've learned we sometimes discount that, instead prioritising the perpetrators interests.
5) Lies, lies, and more lies
To a predatory narcissist, everyone is prey. Their relationships are an illusion and don’t involve true connection as they’re profoundly detached. Depending which category he puts you in, he’ll use a particular strategy, display different traits and choose which lies to use. You may notice him say something ‘out of character,’ which jars with who you’ve believed he is. Or perhaps there’s a sinister laugh or grin, so tiny you nearly miss it, when something bad happens to someone. It’s heart-breaking to depend on predators for careers or to put food on the table - it’s all about power and control, and needs dependency for it to ‘work’.
It’s said that one percent of us are sociopaths - but it could be much higher. You probably know at least one. To their target-victims they eventually stop apologising, knowing they’ll still get away with it, their secrets kept. This is the reason you must call it out- to break the cycle. To stop it. ... See MoreSee Less
People making excuses for this sort of behavior are just as bad. Stand up and defend the right people. Don't be like our government and allow people to say or do anything and then say, their a good human being. You can polish a turd. Be the person who supports the victims instead of shaming them further. And maybe put this scenerio forth if your having trouble with it...what if this was happening to my daughter/mother/lover/friend. Would you still react the same. For me it comes down to people's complete lack of empathy and compassion for their fellow human beings. Most commenting have clearly never meet a true narcissist or sociopath. I truly hope you never do. Good on you for addressing it and giving people some signs to watch out for. Forewarned is Forearmed 👍
Not saying Harvey Weinstein didn't do the actions accused against him, but isn't it a bit early to be comparing predators towards him? I mean for starters, he isn't yet convicted, and for all any of us could know, he may be not guilty? I think it's a bit rude to be comparing people to someone who is not yet convicted of the crime you are referring to.
An entire post about "narcissism" but at the end mentions sociopaths. They aren't the same thing.
Sounds just like our PM, #ScottyFromMarketing.
New Norfolk Neighbourhood Watch shared a post.
1 week ago
Do you know the whereabouts of Shannon Lee Rainbird?
Police would like to speak to him in relation to several matters in the south of Tasmania.
Information can be provided to Tasmania Police on 131 444 or Crime Stoppers Tasmania anonymously on 1800 333 000. ... See MoreSee Less
1 week ago
Keep an eye on your fences! The fence along the block between Glen Derwent and the river, that the neighbours had put in to allow public access to the river, has been cut and nearly every galvanised star picket has been removed. They were seen stacked up early Friday morning but were removed by mid morning.
For the sake of some star pickets they have destroyed a couple of hundred metres of fence.
If you see a bunch of galvanised star pickets for sale from the back of a ute, let the police know ... See MoreSee Less
Or if you see a newly built fence with galvanised droppers
Gees, that's properly pathetic.
Omg nothing is safe these days